Since drink driving stopped being cool in 1988, you're not meant to leave Santa a brandy with his mince pie.

All those millions of shots would surely put him over the limit, even if you accept that he only visits English-speaking middle-class kids and totally ignores Third World countries like Ireland. (A condition of the IMF bailout is that Santa this year sends Irish kids' presents to a consortium headed by Deutsche Bank.)

Kellogg's reckons what the bearded chimney-bandit really craves on his rounds is Corn Flakes so that's what he gets from a gaggle of Aryan moppets in the cereal maker's big festive ad.

It's ironic that with most cereals being reformulated more dramatically than a Lib Dem election pledge, Kellogg's has produced an advert so sugary that watching it makes your teeth hurt. But the absence of parents from the ad hints at levels of festive neglect to give Tiny Tim nightmares.

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