Wouldn't it be fun to have a real-life sports commentator constantly chattering away in your head?

An unending monologue from your inner John Motson; a borderline hysteric shrieking about your most mundane exploits, from brushing your teeth to getting hit by a bus.

The mere whiff of a retro-flavoured crisp would trigger an hour-long reverie about the time Ronnie Radford scored against Newcastle in 1972, yes-very-much-so-indeed-I-fancy. Like with schizophrenia, you'd never walk alone.

This is the fantasy of Powerade, whose new ad captures the frenetic, hyper-competitive spirit of our latter-day Babel. The spirit that makes you want to punch random strangers in the kidney for not walking fast enough on the Tube.

For Powerade, life is an 'Everyday Race', in which the winner is not who finishes first but who shouts the loudest. Amen to that, eh?

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