Fleet Street is gearing up for a serious bout of schadenfreude as Tesco prepares to unveil modest sales growth over the festive period, with the Financial Times and The Guardian among the doom-mongers.

Inevitably, more jobs are under threat, this time at frozen food manufacturer Newcastle Productions. When the maker of Findus Cripsy Pancakes is under the cosh, as the Express reports, you know times are hard.

Which might explain the success of Approved Food, a Sheffield-based online retailer that specialises in shifting food past its sell-by date. The FT takes a look.

If you’re not quite so hungry you’ll eat expired packets of Smash but still fancy something different, The Guardian recommends the new craze that’s sweeping in from the desert – camel steak.

And there are hoots of derision in the bastion of common sense that is the Daily Mail after Cadbury warned shoppers that its Dairy Milk bars contain milk (although, shockingly, the paper fails to blame ‘EU mandarins’ or health and safety types for the warning).

Whatever next – peanuts that ‘may contain nuts’? Oh.