The big news today is that Diageo is having second thoughts about its shiny new plant in Leixlip, prompted by falling beer sales around the globe – and the recession, naturally.

The drinks giant has put its plans on hold pending a review, giving the Financial Times and the Daily Telegraph plenty of scope for jokes about good things coming ‘to those who wait’. Neither paper bothers.

The FT also notes the possible/probable sale of French bakery arm Martine Spécialités by Premier Foods as the company looks to shift some of that debt.

Sad news comes in the Daily Express, which mourns the passing of kebab king Mehmet Aygun – inventor of the mighty doner – who died in Germany aged 87. The paper also claims Brits are forcing themselves to eat things they hate – such as sprouts, broccoli and, er, fish – for health reasons. In between doner kebabs, anyway.

The Daily Mail reports that women are less able to resist food than men (who are almost certainly less good at resisting fags and booze). And today’s food and drink-related health scare in the Mail is the best yet – apparently wine turns you into a werewolf. No, it’s not 1 April.