As the horsemeat scandal enters its 500th week, things are starting to get ridiculous. Not only are our ready meals full of nag, the plague has spread to our salads.

Well, one salad, anyway. A couple from Somerset tucking into a baby leaf bag bought at their local Tesco were shocked to find a “decomposed and skeletal” dead bird inside.

So how did the blackcap warbler - rather a cute little fellow, when he’s not putrefying everywhere - get into the bag? As with horsemeat, it’s a definite ‘dunno’, though surely it’s a comfort to the couple that it was ‘washed and ready to eat’.

Touchingly, Tesco’s store manager turned up with wine and flowers (a move that would have at the very least secured a second date with Bogof) and took the bird away with him - presumably, one imagines, for a decent burial. Though it might be best to steer clear of the rotisserie for a while.

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