Declining X Factor viewing figures could cost ITV up to £10m in ad revenue, apparently.

And it seems the show’s judges are already seeking alternative employment. There are rumours Barlow’s planning to move on and Tulisa’s already dipped a dainty toe into perfumery. As to Louis Walsh, god knows what the not-so-lovable leprechaun would do.

The only judge with a cast-iron plan is sexy-yet-sensible Nicole Scherzinger. Ironically, given ITV’s struggles, she’s been spotted filming an ad at Asda. As a former Pussycat Doll, Nicole has experience of slapping her own bottom (though usually in outfits more revealing than the retailer’s cosy green and black number) so she fits right in…

If only! It is of course a brilliant publicity stunt - Nerdlinger is mentoring permagiggling ‘shy one’ (and Asda employee) Jahmene Douglas on the show. Good one!