In the week during which we exercised our right to democracy, reaction to the latest royal sprog subtly underlined the reality: our eternal serfdom. 

Among the forelock-tugging ‘tributes’ were the usual teatowels and mugs, but food & drink got in on the act, too, with several ranges of sycophantic biscuits, as well as fawning label changes across fmcg.

Bogof’s favourite, though, came from The Licktators. It collaborated with breast milk campaigner Victoria Hiley (who was presumably attracted by the name) to launch ‘Royal Baby Gaga’ - a vanilla ice cream made with the milk of human women - “screened in line with hospital standards”.

Hard luck, Royalist perverts: although the Duchess of Cambridge’s image appears on the packaging, she hasn’t contributed. But if you don’t fancy imbibing riff-raff milk, the recipe is online. Make your own!