Is there anything Goldenballs can’t do?

Amid the medals, tears and MPs cynically doing ‘the Mobot’, our Team GB footballers somehow conjured up the traditional English-style quarter-final exit on penalties. But Beckham’s olympic squad snub left him free to deliver the Olympic flame via speedboat for Danny Boyle’s opening bash.

You wouldn’t have put it past him to simply walk across the Thames.

Now he’s back, without even going away first, as Paralympic sponsor Sainsbury’s basks in the golden glow - without risking the flak Coke and Cadbury got from the Health lobby. He appears in an eerily quiet supermarket aisle conspicuously selling nothing but fruit & veg.

Oh, and some of the athletes get a look-in too.