Ice cream is the sexiest food. It’s melty, often chocolatey and routinely adorned with all manner of ‘nuts’ and ‘ripples’. Remember those saucy Häagen-Dazs ads?

The cheeky souls at ‘adult’ movie company Caballero apparently do. But it took inspiration from another ice cream maker - Ben & Jerry’s - for a recent series of jazz films. Among its ‘Ben & Cherry’s’ titles were Boston Cream Thigh, Peanut Butter D-Cup and Chocolate Fudge Babes. Sounds classy. But the ice cream kings weren’t impressed, and legal action has taken the movies off the shelves.

Perhaps the premature climax to the whole grubby affair was well-timed. The best filthy flavours The Grocer’s (considerable) smut department could come up with was a Hobnobs brand extension (oo-er!) and the not-very-tempting ‘bum and raisin’. Any further suggestions on a postcard please

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