“We’ve never produced an ad so epic and cinematic,” cooed Carte Noire’s brand manager in last week’s magazine. Cinematic is the word - this rather camp spot for Instinct instant coffee blends Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter with two teams of sexy actors playing hyper-Quidditch on Mount Doom.

The competitors represent the worlds of fire and ice, and scores are pretty much even until the final play, when a hunky fire-man and comely ice queen grab the ball at the same time. This represents how a shower of cold water stops the coffee roasting process at the opportune moment, apparently.

To be honest though, you won’t care about the science. This ad is exciting, memorable and fun - which is all it needs to be.