Malibu is surely the Old Spice of spirits.
While the latter has recently looked to offset its essential naffness with oddball advertising, Malibu has meandered off in a different direction - deploying the wholly wholesome charms of Lady Sunshine, a gleaming, beaming paragon of everything we’re missing out on in murky Britain’s eternal monsoon.
Despite the tropical flavour, she’s more Cliff Richard than Rihanna: beneficent, faintly messianic and utterly asexual. And for some reason she’s wearing rollerskates, which isn’t a good idea when drinking rum.
There’s some catchy Soca bopping away in the background but it lacks the irresistible hook of “here come de Lilt man” - still the gold standard for lazy if lovable Caribbean cut-outs.