‘Nicest cow’ competitions. Hardly front-page stuff, but they do make nice little news stories.

It’s all taken a bit more seriously in Germany. The 2013 Holstein Show’s ‘prettiest cow’ title was won by the charmingly named ‘Loh Nastygirl’ after Krista, the favourite, was disqualified in a ‘fake hair’ scandal. Who said Germans lacked a sense of humour?