Given recent events, Tesco’s unveiling of a series of apologetic ads in national newspapers seems a wise move.

But instead of the usual letter format, it opted for some penitent poetry, complete with ‘meaningful’ line breaks and iambic pentameter.

Confusing stuff, though often the content read more like the desperate pleas of a smitten, recently dumped teenager. “We’re going to keep working out ways to make things better,” bawled one. “This is it. We are changing.” Aw, how can we stay mad at that?

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