At time of writing, Michael Phelps hadn’t yet been stripped of his medals for using performance-enhancing substances.

But he will be. A shock revelation in Head & Shoulders’ Olympian ad: the man swim-fans call ‘the Iron Porpoise’ relies exclusively on shampoo for having “the confidence to win”.

His insecurities run deep. For even with that uncanny absence of “flakes”, Phelps swims in a rubber hat, only whipping out his sumptuous curls with victory already assured, in a vaguely villainous flourish.

Shame the Active Sport variant (plugged concurrently) didn’t work for Mark Cavendish in the cycling road race. Maybe he should’ve borrowed Victoria Pendleton’s Pantene.