Tesco cheekily repositioned itself as a discounter this week, with Dawn French informing us “a new dawn was breaking for Britain’s shoppers”.

New dawn. Dawn French. That’s called synergy in the ad trade, mate.

The sparklier-than-thou commercial has the look (and strings-heavy sound) of one of the Star Wars prequels, with all the emotional depth and compelling dramatic narrative that entails – an effect hardly diffused by French’s pixie-like delivery.

Those new tertiary brands are teasingly cited before the shock reveal that – gasp! – this new discounter is none other than grocery’s answer to the Galactic Empire.

In fact, the proposition of Britain’s Biggest Discounter is an intimidating one for rivals to face – although the final frame threatens to muddle that angle by refusing to jettison the over-familiar ‘Every Little Helps’ slogan.

Whether or not Aldi and Lidl turn out to be more than a phantom menace, this advert is likely to prove an effective new weapon for Darth Leahy and all aboard the Cheshunt Death Star. You have been warned.

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