Like Yul Brynner in Westworld, the bald pate of Heston Blumenthal bobs remorselessly on towards global domination.

He recently bought a third pub in Bray, home of his Fat Duck, and now the one-time wunderkind is back on the box in a new Waitrose ad.

Heston here is liberated from the kitchen he pretends to share with Delia to bother the sheep on Home Farm, the normally idyllic rural seat of Duchy Originals.

Lectures on animal welfare are a bit rich from a man who purées eyeballs for breakfast. But his oddball charisma is strangely compelling; the scenery is greener than a bamboo bicycle; and the creatures look happily oblivious to how close they've come to a one-way ticket to his sinister food lab.

It took only bullets, acid and fire to defeat Brynner's implacable gunslinger. Stopping Heston will be harder. It's already his world; we just live in it.

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