Spare a thought for poor Andy Bond. As well as very unfair speculation that he jumped ship from Asda with a friendly cutlass point in his back, even his big announcement didn't go to plan.

Grocer spies confirm the tear-jerking moment was undermined by technical issues, with a dodgy mic making Bond's address in the Asda HQ atrium sound like the Stutter Rap.

After 15 minutes of faffing about with cables, Bond was reportedly forced to yell his emotional farewell via a megaphone.