First cats with thumbs, now a cow in a wedding dress.

Cravendale again ups the weird in its new ad, a pre-historic romp through the invention of milking, culminating in Cro-Magnon man having the sort of queasily inspirational dream you get with too much cheese before bedtime.

Roman myth says the city’s founders suckled from a kindly she-wolf. These days we’re so used to latching on to other species’ lactate it doesn’t seem odd. But it’s surely more personal, more nurturing, than turning mammoths into burgers and jackets. Had history taken a different turn, we might have reared squirrels for hugs, or farmed armies of geckos for dating advice.

The ad is fun but creepy, like flying a kite in the dark with the neighbours’ kids. It suggests a slightly sinister symbiosis, in which the cows secretly crave the dairyman’s touch. If they did, we might feel somehow less willing to don the milk moustache.