Premier Foods last week showed that Hovis really is where the heart is after it saw fit to shower the great unwashed of Sutton with its leavened largesse.

In search of a Christ-style publicity coup, Premier apparatchiks set about distributing 16,000 Hovis Soft White loaves among needy Suttonians.

However, witnesses suggest the half-baked stunt soon went stale, with loaves discarded in the streets and local hoodies briefly halting their happy-slapping to pelt bread at each other.