As Diageo was envisioning a fertile virgin planet populated entirely by Guinness drinkers, other visionaries were conjuring a brave new world of their own one that doesn't include booze. At least, not as we know it.

This paradise on earth free of vomit-stained binge-drinkers and, even better, those infuriating WKD commercials was dreamed up by former government drugs adviser David Nutt. Possibly after a crafty smoke.

Having recently branded alcohol worse than Ecstasy on health grounds, as well as being far less fun and failing to make house music tolerable the Nutty Professor has now revealed he's synthesising an alcohol substitute that gets you pissed without giving you a hangover.

Like Bruce Banner in The Incredible Hulk, he's also working on an antidote that sobers you up immediately. Although waking up next to the wrong person can have that effect too.

"Hopefully in the future, people will raise a toast over my grave with a glass of synthetic booze," he wrote in The Sun this week. A few drinks companies might take him up on that offer possibly sooner than he had in mind.