José Mourinho and Guy Ritchie. A match made in heaven or a meeting of has-beens? Heineken obviously reckons it’s the latter, which is why it’s got the guy who made Swept Away directing the man who steered Man Utd to a 3-1 defeat at Watford last week.

José is delivering an inspiring speech, though it’s not clear to whom. He addresses a city skyline during a thunderstorm, spouting motivational nonsense about ‘lions’, ‘titans’, ‘legends’ and a, er, ‘trumpet of destiny’.

It’s not clear whether this is meant to be serious, or a knowing self-parody (which José did very nicely in an ad for BT Sport). The comic payoff (he’s wearing slippers and has evidently just taken his dog out) doesn’t make much sense. Still, it’s better than RocknRolla.