Now it's opened its new, larger 'kitchen' (that's a factory to the rest of us), frozen meals chain Cook wants to set up more stores in London and the south east but is having trouble locating suitable sites.

So much so, in fact, that it is bribing customers to find them.

"Despite registering our details with local commercial agents the reality is that they can't be relied on to send through the details when a potential shop site becomes vacant," complains co-founder Edward Perry in the retailer's latest customer newsletter.

"Should you recommend any sites that we subsequently open up then we will send you £250 of gift vouchers and let you cut the ribbon if you like."

£250 in vouchers? Cutting a ribbon? It hardly compares with the £75,000 Waitrose is offering agents if they find it suitable sites for new stores.

Maybe that's why those property agents never get back to them.

Elsewhere in the newsletter we learn that the weirdest thing ever eaten by fellow Cook co-founder Dale Penfold is roast swan.

How did it taste, Dale? "Like fishy chicken." Yum.