You'd think it'd be hard to go wrong with anything that combines breasts and ice cream, two of the least controversial items on a list of all that's good in this world (and cornerstones of many an advertising campaign for Antonio Federici).

Yet the new arrival at Covent Garden parlour Icecreamists is very, very wrong. The company is offering a new dessert, dubbed Baby Gaga, made with lashings of breast milk donated by a local mum and served with a rusk instead of a Flake.

"If it's good enough for our children, it's good enough for the rest of us," said Icecreamists founder Matt O'Connor, who you imagine lives off pulped carrot when he's not milking lactating Londoners and has his mittens on a string inside his coat.

"Some people will hear about it and go 'yuck'," he observed intuitively, "but it's pure organic, free-range and totally natural."

Perhaps nobody told O'Connor that the whole organic thing isn't going particularly well at the moment either. And that's before you factor in not just the 'yuck' factor but a price of £14 for a single portion.

Still, you can't blame the milkmaid herself. "What's the harm in using my assets for a bit of extra cash?" reasoned Victoria Hiley.