Zut alors! First the French football team implodes in a spectacular display of synchronised shrugs and incomprehensible hand gestures. Now the country's famed culinary establishment is waving a rare white flag of surrender.

Implausible as it may seem for a nation that feasts on snails, horse fillets and cheese more pungent than the inside of Andy Bond's cycling shorts, the French are going off their grub.

And it's all thanks to their super-officious food advisers, who reportedly make our FSA seem like a bunch of happy-go-lucky cholesterol-junkies. It seems the French public are suffering from chronic advice fatigue, having tired of the barrage of edicts claiming that "wine has too much fat in it" and "you could have someone's eye out with that baguette".

A report by the country's National Food Council warned this week that too much health advice was "turning eating into a stressful experience". And the council's chair, Alain Blogowski, told The Times the nation was at risk of losing "the pleasure and conviviality that has always been an essential component of French gastronomy".

And Blogof thought it was all onions and garlic.