A school in Brighton has come to the shocking conclusion that Christmas is all about commercialism.
And Coca-Cola is to blame , apparently, for this frightening shift away from the true ideals of the festive season.
A Steiner school (that's a school that focuses on creativity - nothing to do with Ocado boss Tim) has decided to ban a traditional Father Christmas because it fears his famous red suit will remind pupils of Coke adverts.
That suit, say the humbug merchants , is a symbol of "modern commercialism" - so the kids will instead be visited by a green-clad St Nicholas.
Bogof can not allow this playground scrap to continue. The Yuletide truth must out.
It is indeed accurate that a red-clad Santa - created by artist Haddon Sundblom - has featured in the Coke adverts since the 1930s. But the first known depiction of Santa in red was actually designed for a Christmas card as far back as 1885.
See - school doesn't teach you everything.