Cider drinkers aren't the only ones to suffer at the hands of the Chancellor music lovers are set for a Budget-based bashing too.

A protest campaign has begun to push The Wurzels', erm, 'hit' I Am A Cider Drinker to the top of the charts hoping to echo the Facebook-inspired success of Rage Against The Machine's shout-fest Killing In The Name, which famously nabbed last year's Christmas number one spot ahead of the karaoke glove puppet that won The X-Factor.

"We realise we have to tighten the string on our trousers, but we feel we're being unfairly penalised," The Wurzels' Tom Banner told The Sun, doing little to undermine certain longstanding stereotypes about the local fashion sense in that part of the world. "Scrumpy [is] one of the few pleasures we enjoy down here on the farm in the West Country."

If it's not quite clear how taxing the chinless types sipping elderflower Kopparberg will cure harmful drinking, there was better news for the health police as last week marked the official demise of White Lightning, now delisted by brand owner Heineken UK and therefore leaving a liver-shaped gap as tramp-fuel of choice for the discerning homeless.

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