Woolworths, selling champers for a fiver, with pick'n'mix?

If Bogof had 'invented' this story he would have been accused of eating too many of the brightly coloured sweeties the chain's oenophiles have paired the champers with. But the press release was bubbling over with ironic details.

"We're not pretending to be wine experts," said Woolies MD Tony Page, denying this was a loss leader for the ailing chain, which was recently valued by analysts at a price cheaper than a can of Vimto, "but there is no reason why it can't be sold at value prices."

Unfortunately, enquiries by Bogof at two Woolies stores revealed staff had no knowledge of the promotion. "It's only available in Bristol," said a manager after Bogof insisted a bored employee investigate further at the empty store he visited.

But what had Bogof drooling, (apart from the combo of cola bottles and rhubarb & custard soft chews washed down with a biscuity bottle of adult fizz) was the idea that this publicity stunt, sorry, deal, may be followed by moves into other luxury items.

The chain is reportedly considering selling cut-price caviar, diamond jewellery and perfumes under the Worthit! brand. May I suggest these are paired with the chain's crisps, school uniforms and kettles respectively?