You might think DC10's talk about adopting a granny is cynical rhetoric that aims only to mask the wreckage of savage spending cuts, like a razor blade hidden in a cupcake. And you'd be right.

The real 'big society' is The Co-op, which returns to the proletariat's idiot boxes with a revolutionary screed demanding we get mutual on each other's asses.

Acting as retail's Arthur Scargill is the Scottish bloke from Sliding Doors, also known as the Scottish bloke who reads the sad poem in Four Fops & A Yank That Can't Act. And now the Scottish bloke who does The Co-op's "gewt with fewt" ethical sloganeering.

Intriguingly, there's nothing here about buying stuff from The Co-op, just big talk about "empowering hundreds of thousands of revolutionaries" to rise up and, you know, co-operate.

All it's missing is Peter Marks in his Karl Marx beard claiming Tesco is the opium of the masses.

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