Cheese that tastes of curry? Alex James might think he has invented something new, but he obviously never tried the stuff Blogof scraped from the back of its student-era fridge.

Still, that lack of ingenuity hardly seems to justify the slating James got from the press this week for ­supposedly betraying his foodie credentials.

James hit back in The Sun by branding critics the "crusty establishment", which sounds like the sort of artisan bakery he might have been a fan of before buddying up with Asda.

"It was time to shake things up and I have," he fumed, like an overheating fondue set. "One critic called my ketchup-flavoured cheese an abomination without even tasting it, just like how crusty establishment figures reacted to punk rock when it came out."

So there you have it: a millionaire former rock star, in partnership with the UK plaything of the world's largest retailer, sticking up for the little guy against the hegemony of the cheese fascists.

If James wants to get ­really creative, perhaps he needs a nemesis, like Blur had with Oasis. What are the chances of Liam Gallagher discovering a hitherto untapped passion for yoghurt?

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