While fishing for news about Bernard Matthews, Bogof came up against the latest technique for protecting a company's public image. It is refusing to tell anyone what its press officer is called. A loyal worker insisted she couldn't give out employee names over the phone. "How will I know who to speak to?" I asked. "We'll deal with that next time you call," she countered.

So now we know what companies do with all the out-of-date stock they haven't managed to shift. They send it to greedy journalists. Well, that's what our friends at Seabrook Crisps did when they delivered three boxes of crisps that had passed their best-before date to our office last week. They really know how to make friends and influence people.

Last week wasn't Britain's finest hour when it comes to culinary and food expertise. On the same day a survey of eight to 15 year-olds discovered that some children think cows lay eggs and that bacon comes from sheep, we also learnt that Britons were such bad cooks that millions struggle to make a simple omelette. Could this be because they are trying to make them with cows' eggs?

In our Weigh It Up! campaign, we've been exposing the absurdities of the Nutrient Profiling Model, which measures nutrient levels on the basis of a 100g measures - rather than real portion sizes. And we seem to have an ally in Sainsbury's chief executive Justin King. Marmite, one of the profile's victims, is one of his son's favourite foods, King told Bogof. But even he couldn't manage 100g of the stuff.

Former agricultural minister John Gummer was interrupted halfway through his speech at last week's farmers' conference by the angry squawk of a chicken. Could this have been a bird sounding off about the government's handling of the avian flu virus? No, it was just his rather novel ringtone.