Never mind the credit crunch – there is a cocoa crisis brewing, according to the Financial Times, as prices for the commodity keep climbing to new highs.

The paper also warns of a broader ‘food crunch’ (surely ‘munch crunch’ would have been catchier) as climate change threatens to decimate agricultural production. So we’ll be slim AND tanned… what’s not to like?

The Independent reports that Tesco has been in “secret talks” with poultry suppliers to improve the welfare of its chickens – although surely even the Indy isn’t so short of readers that a page 14 lead counts as ‘secret’. All will be revealed tonight on Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall’s show tonight on Channel 4.

The fall-out continues from the Anheuser-InBev merger, with the post-merger giant selling its stake in top Chinese beer Tsingtao to Japanese brewer Asahi. The sale, flagged up in the FT, continues a run of wheeling and dealing in the Asian beer market of late.

Meanwhile, another global player, Carlsberg, is so dismayed by the unseemly squabbling at Liverpool FC that its £10m a year sponsorship deal with the Anfield club is reportedly under threat. Read on in the FT.

The Daily Mirror reports that Kerry Katona is set to hang on to her gig as the face and newly streamlined hips of Iceland, albeit with the former Atomic Kitten taking a slight cut in pay.

From a former reality TV star to those of the future – butchers are to get their own show, in the form of the BBC’s upcoming Young Butcher of the Year – aka Chop Idol. Who said culture was dead?

Today’s health scare in the Mail is about caffeine damaging babies in the womb.

Finally, in a rare boost for landlords, Aussie scientists (yes, such a thing exists) have decided that alcohol boosts bedroom performance. The Mail takes a surprisingly upbeat look.