So, the dream is over and the plucky underdog has been kicked off The X Factor.

That's Tesco, obviously, the little supermarket with the can-do attitude that dreamed of getting free publicity on every single episode of the karaoke cringe-inducer.

Also sadly gone is Mary Byrne, the chanteuse-of-a-certain-age who toils on the Tesco tills between weekly stabs at stardom.

Poor Mary was stitched up like the proverbial kipper by the show's judges, who took matters out of the voting public's hands and opted to kick her out instead of lachrymose waxwork Cher Lloyd.

Mary was all over the tabloids crying foul of the apparent fix. "I knew my days were numbered," she mused, like a self-aware tub of expiring coleslaw.

But it's not all bad news for Mary. She's landed a record deal with Sony and could even bag one of those exclusive deals with Tesco that are working so well for Nadine Coyle...

Certain riches beckon for another humble till jockey, however. Sue Stebbings bagged £5.6m on last week's lottery but will stay on at the Asda in Lowestoft because she enjoys it so much. Another awesome show of power by the Asda brain-washing machine!