Oh, the self-sacrifice. Jimmy Doherty and his team are once again travelling the world to find out what’s really in our food - and save us all the bother (Food Unwrapped, 3 June, 8.30pm, C4).
Cue visits to the Ukraine, France and, er, Edinburgh and Kent this week to discover what goes into a Chicken Kiev, whether mouldy bread is safe to eat and how supermarkets are able to sell English summer apples in the middle of winter.
It should have been interesting. It wasn’t. In fact, I’d even say it was misleading. Take the bread bit. Jimmy took a slice to a boffin in Edinburgh, and the bread was soon engulfed by mould - none of it harmful. So the boffin showed him a different piece that WAS covered in deadly stuff before advising us to steer clear.
There was more scare-mongering with the apples, with Matt Tebbutt warned that if he stuck his head in the nitrogen-rich atmosphere they were stored in, he wouldn’t live long (because that’s something we’d all do, of course).
But the real travesty was the Chicken Kiev “investigation”. Despite Kate Quilton’s best efforts to expose a scandal, she discovered the Chicken Kievs were made from chicken. What Ukrainians don’t do is put garlic in the butter (preferring dill instead).
“It’s bombshell revelations like this that make us realise how little we know about the butter in our Kievs,” said Doherty, scrutinising a knob (or was it the other way round?).
Clearly this lot need help. I’d like to volunteer my services - the public has a right to know what makes a Thai green curry green, dammit.