And lo, the blizzard of Christmas cookery shows has begun, with Jamie’s Cracking Christmas (Channel 4, 9pm, 8 December). And for anyone worried about carving the turkey, he has a top tip. Just use your hands.
It’s fine, really. Jamie does it. Although he didn’t stop at tearing turkey straight from the carcase - he did it with everything. He ripped up roasties. He had his hands in a curry. He crushed coriander leaves. And he did something terrible to a goose.
Straight from the oven, the goose looked delicious; all spiced up with star anise and the skin was as crisp as you like. But then he grabbed the leg, gave it a twist, and pulled it apart before spreading it around a platter with his glistening fingers.
Then, after a quick slit with a knife, he pulled the breast off, held it down with his palm and sliced it up. And because we all watch TV on 50in monsters these days, the globs of grease and flabby flesh that smothered his fingers were shown in glorious 1080p HD widescreen.
Delicious! Anyway, there was a lot to love about the food that he didn’t maul or fondle. Korean soft buns were stuffed with leftover goose and laced with hoisin and chilli. beef Wellington was a big bundle of pink fillet, wrapped in a coarse duxelles and enveloped in crisp golden pastry. Red cabbage was spiked with bacon. Sweet and sticky carrots were roasted in a tangerine syrup and fresh thyme. And a panettone tart oozed chocolate and vanilla. In short, Jamie, you’re very welcome to come over and cook my family Christmas dinner. But maybe I’ll carve?