Heston Blumenthal, the Fat Duck head famed for his clever but vile-sounding recipes, has a cookbook out. The 12lb tome costs just £100 and allows you to shake off those credit-crunch blues by whipping up your very own batch of snail porridge with monopods from the back garden. Equally appetising is the Eat For Goals! cookbook, featuring favourites from a clutch of top footballers – as well as Scotland’s Barry Ferguson – encouraging kids to eat more healthily. Insert your own gag about Kieron Dyer’s recipe for ‘a good roast’ here.