It's Farmhouse Breakfast Week soon, so it's time for another pointless survey designed to show that young people are stupid and the world isn't as good as it used to be.
Apparently a poll of 1,950 adults found that many young people lacked "the knowhow to cook a healthy cooked breakfast". Oh yeah?
Scandalously, 49% of 18 to 24-year-olds did not know that a soft boiled egg should be cooked for three minutes.
And 52% were unaware that grilling a rasher of bacon takes six minutes under a pre-heated grill.
Most intriguing, though, is the fact that 15% of young people "could not even attempt a guess at how long it takes to cook bacon".
Why was this? Were they bound and gagged? Did they have a mouthful of cola cubes?
More likely, perhaps, they knew that if they got it wrong then their answer would be included in a press release detailing how stupid they are. Maybe they're not as daft as they seem.
The same can't be said for the researchers, who seem to think it is notable that 97% of young adults "did not know that the term 'green' is associated with bacon".
I'm with them to be honest.