After Tesco treated shoppers to some unexpected X-rated fun in one store's entertainment section recently, news of top-shelf antics at arch-rival Asda.

Last month it was reported that the supermarket had been forced to move its misleadingly named cock soup out of the sight of children, due to the constant sniggering it was generating. Because 'soup' is ghetto slang for something very rude indeed on the mean streets that are home to Asda's customer base. Possibly.

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