This column was not the first to note the frequent and often wildly inappropriate use of sexual imagery to sell products ranging from confectionery (Magnum, Flake and now Cadbury's Caramel) to chemical weapons (Lynx deodorant).

Perhaps the raunchiest of recent times, Orangina's gazelles-on-heat ad now has a rival in Mattessons' latest ad: for Smoked Pork Sausage.

Yes, the product DOES resemble a penis. This, Kerry Foods evidently believes, is a selling point foolishly neglected by previous campaigns. Perhaps to make up for lost time, the innuendo is turned up to eleven. "Let's appreciate it together," says the most gravel-laden voiceover in history - think Darth Vader meets Taggart after fifty Bensons and a Long Island Iced Dettol. "Just you, me and the sausage.

"You're thinking about all the things you could do with it, aren't you?" he continues, as the camera gets intimate with its subject in a way only certain wildlife documentaries tend to do.

It's an odd strategy, but undoubtedly memorable. By the advert's climax, viewers will either be crazed with wurst-lust - or very, very glad they are vegetarian.