As Manchester United marches inexorably to yet another Premier League title, how apt that another corporate behemoth, Danone, should again wheel out legendary former Red Devil Sir Bobby of Charlton to plug its death-defying yoghurt drink Actimel.

Sir Bobby – famed for his disastrous one-season managerial reign at Preston North End and for sporting the ropiest comb-over since the Hamlet cigar adverts – gamely hauls his creaking frame off the subs’ bench to croak lyrical about the immunity-boosting benefits of the bacteria-based beverage.

So potent is the elixir that Sir Bobby is able to attend a football match, befriend a youngster in red and white hat-and-scarf set (minus any official United club livery, of course) and even head a stray ball back from the crowd with that famous chrome-topped cranium.

While it hardly compares with Pele’s infamous stint as the, erm, face of Viagra, it’s still rather haunting to see a genuine English hero trudge along so stiffly, giving the enterprise a faintly tragic air.

It almost makes you yearn for the days of brother Jack’s sterling work for Shredded Wheat. Almost.

Topics