Teachers were frowning this week as a new poll claimed a third of all kids believe Rudyard Kipling made cakes. Perhaps the other two-thirds knew he was an author, or maybe they hadn’t heard of the cherry bakewell guy either.

The poll coincides with a scheme to print extracts from books on cereal boxes to buoy kids’ interest in reading. That noble idea sounds even better considering Coco Pops plans to plaster conjoined cretins Jedward on its boxes a move that’s surely the very antithesis of brain food.