receipt Inflation money economy web

Surely the unspoken bond between retailers and customers requires that the former never tell the truth and the latter reward them for this through their undying disloyalty? This was my understanding at least until reading the other day that Mr King, who I’m pretty sure used to be in charge of something important, had come out claiming that the Big Boys (and, in these diverse times, Big Girls too) were not being altogether straight about the impact of Brexit on prices.

Well I never. Now, don’t get me wrong - it would take a complete simpleton or elected politician to deny the link between a weaker pound, a flagging economy and import prices. Anybody who has mastered the use of all 10 fingers can see that, unless, say, they work for Mr Davis at the Ministry of Brexit Truth. But what’s odd is that even a former shopkeeper like Mr King would break the code and say that in public. Stick to the go-karts, Mr King!

Believe your Pat when I say that no good can come if it. I always tell my customers that I am “doing my utmost to protect them from imported inflation” and this is of course perfectly true. Just as King Canute did his utmost to pioneer early flood defences. Happily, most of them are so easily swayed by the Pat’s Mart Price Promise (No-one Matches Our Prices, Ever) that they never notice that this is accurate only in a literal sense.

It’s all rather worrying - the industry really ought to speak with a single voice, however mendacious that might be. Happily we still have the BRC and its forthright ‘Brexit - Meh’ campaign. Their boss Ms Dickinson has an OBE in retail, you know. I think this is mostly for counting beans rather than selling them, but still.

Pat Smart

exploits of a Westminster 
c-store owner