The image of Karoline (with a K) sporting a fez in earnest is as alarming in real life as it sounds on the page. Even more frightening, a tiny red hat perched atop her ‘big PR hair’ has the effect of making her face appear twice its normal size. Maybe it was this that subverted our United Biscuits pitch from the start. Or maybe it was the fact that, with the heating cranked up to Ankara levels for the benefit of our guests, she insisted on talking at length about the loveliness of the Greek islands, halloumi cheese, bouzouki music, plate smashing, “and all those other things that you Athenian folk enjoy, erm, like lemons and, erm, Captain Corelli.”

Apart from holding a ‘Peace March for Cyprus’ up the Green Lanes in North London, it’s difficult to think of anything more provocative, and the new Turkish owners of Twiglets and Boasters (my two favourites) duly departed, looking both angry and baffled.

Everybody needed a strong drink and quickly after this shambles and obviously There Is Not A beer For That. We weren’t tempted by Babycham’s new cherry and cream soda flavours either. But then who in their right minds would be? Instead, we plumped for the posh girl’s fruit beverage of choice, the latest flavoured gin. This one, kumquat and goldenberry apparently, tastes like all the other boutique gins, but as PR people know well, that’s not the point. It’s in a very pretty bottle and is frighteningly expensive. That’s the point.

In light of this, the news that women are more likely than men to drink a bottle of wine in one go is easily explained. There are virtually no men (none worth the title, anyway) in PR.