I rarely rummage among the contents of the DRIP postbag, replete as it is with the sob stories of suppliers or the inane ramblings of thick-witted consumers from Brighton to Bootle.
But just recently the fan mail has taken a more edgy twist. It appears my occasional constructive criticisms are not always taken in the right spirit. I have even been accused of being an elitist, misogynist, immoral and misanthropic old pervert. And I never even knew my mum had my work address.
And I'm not the only one in hot water over moral standards. Luckily I'm merely in Government, while Jonathan Ross is a TV presenter, and BBC journalists detest their overpaid brethren even more than they hate the Government. Second only to supermarkets, in fact.
Talking of Ross, it seems edgy is the new black. Look at King Justin, admitting he is prepared to flout EU strictures on unshapely fruit and veg in order to flog the various misshapen protuberances as Hallowe'en-themed kiddies' vegetable delights.
"We knew it was illegal, but were happy to take the risk as a company," some spin bimbo said. No doubt shoplifters will be using the same argument soon at a Sainsbury's near you.
And in another edgy missive, consultants BDO Stoy Hayward completely eclipse Messrs Brand and Ross with the fearless conclusion that Tesco is the best-placed of the big four to ride out the recession. That's right up there with a Planet Retail survey predicting that "the fittest are best prepared to survive the downturn".
Talking of the new black, I'm lighting a candle that by the time you read this he will have trounced the old white in the US elections. You never know, he might even ask Big Sam Walton to cough up some taxes. At least they'd be making a contribution on one side of the pond.n
But just recently the fan mail has taken a more edgy twist. It appears my occasional constructive criticisms are not always taken in the right spirit. I have even been accused of being an elitist, misogynist, immoral and misanthropic old pervert. And I never even knew my mum had my work address.
And I'm not the only one in hot water over moral standards. Luckily I'm merely in Government, while Jonathan Ross is a TV presenter, and BBC journalists detest their overpaid brethren even more than they hate the Government. Second only to supermarkets, in fact.
Talking of Ross, it seems edgy is the new black. Look at King Justin, admitting he is prepared to flout EU strictures on unshapely fruit and veg in order to flog the various misshapen protuberances as Hallowe'en-themed kiddies' vegetable delights.
"We knew it was illegal, but were happy to take the risk as a company," some spin bimbo said. No doubt shoplifters will be using the same argument soon at a Sainsbury's near you.
And in another edgy missive, consultants BDO Stoy Hayward completely eclipse Messrs Brand and Ross with the fearless conclusion that Tesco is the best-placed of the big four to ride out the recession. That's right up there with a Planet Retail survey predicting that "the fittest are best prepared to survive the downturn".
Talking of the new black, I'm lighting a candle that by the time you read this he will have trounced the old white in the US elections. You never know, he might even ask Big Sam Walton to cough up some taxes. At least they'd be making a contribution on one side of the pond.n
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