The last few days of the year are normally filled with poignancy for Pumsey. The last of the big pay days. All those tasty tarts. But gaudete, gentle readers! Will any of us actually miss 2008? Be merry and join the Pumster in a flagon of bogof ale while you still can, accompanied by a tasty fresh Irish pork banger - sizzling if only thanks to the (sub-prime) toxins reacting away under that deathly grey exterior. Yum.
No, it has to be said that this annus horribilis of a year can't end soon enough for any of us, except possibly "Mr 9%" Marc Bolan, or any of the German discounters who are inflicting the sort of damage on British retailers (not you, Bondy, Arkansas doesn't count as Home Counties just yet) that Hermann Göring could only ever dream of.
So miserable has the high street become that even the pointless Ocado has been drawn into the price squabble, with publicity-shy Jason Gissing wiping himself over every square inch of available newsprint to proclaim the launch of the 'Everyday' range of, ahem, discount groceries.
Clearly still very much the complete banker, he believes this will divert the scrofulous and indolent life-forms that currently cash in their food coupons in your local Tesco over to his preposterous and poncey website. And a Merry Christmas to you too, Jason.
And this is why I look forward with such boundless glee to 2009. As I mentioned to Stevie Robertson at the BRC Christmas bash the other night (kindly hosted by Poundland in Pimlico) things can hardly get worse next year, can they?
Robertson seemed to agree wholeheartedly, although I must say his gurgling and inverted eyeballs were rather unbecoming as he toppled to the floor in the knock-down mop section, but I put that down to a glass too many (one) of the Poundland mulled wine.
No, it has to be said that this annus horribilis of a year can't end soon enough for any of us, except possibly "Mr 9%" Marc Bolan, or any of the German discounters who are inflicting the sort of damage on British retailers (not you, Bondy, Arkansas doesn't count as Home Counties just yet) that Hermann Göring could only ever dream of.
So miserable has the high street become that even the pointless Ocado has been drawn into the price squabble, with publicity-shy Jason Gissing wiping himself over every square inch of available newsprint to proclaim the launch of the 'Everyday' range of, ahem, discount groceries.
Clearly still very much the complete banker, he believes this will divert the scrofulous and indolent life-forms that currently cash in their food coupons in your local Tesco over to his preposterous and poncey website. And a Merry Christmas to you too, Jason.
And this is why I look forward with such boundless glee to 2009. As I mentioned to Stevie Robertson at the BRC Christmas bash the other night (kindly hosted by Poundland in Pimlico) things can hardly get worse next year, can they?
Robertson seemed to agree wholeheartedly, although I must say his gurgling and inverted eyeballs were rather unbecoming as he toppled to the floor in the knock-down mop section, but I put that down to a glass too many (one) of the Poundland mulled wine.
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