I had a bit of a eureka moment in the bath the other night. It’s not the first time - it’s caused by the kind of higher-than-expected inflation that would give even Mr Carney sleepless nights.
It suddenly dawned that your Pat is what all of those tweed-faced ashen-suited types and typettes from the Treasury would refer to as an economic counter-indicator. When I first saw the term I thought it meant one of those big PAY HERE signs you get in upmarket stores like TK Maxx. But then my swotty niece Yolanda, who has a BTEC, patiently explained it’s actually when the evidence proves the exact opposite of what it’s supposed to.
Yolanda says the textbook example is Mrs May - the more passive-aggressive she gets on a scale of 95-100, the less likely the things she says are to be true. Which is a worry, given the way she is.
For me though, it’s all good news, I mused as I topped up the Radox Bath Therapy Muscle Soak Herbal Bath Salts 400g (£1.25). You see, the more upset and grumpy and divided we become as a nation, the more MPs feel obliged to show up to work occasionally and scream insults at each other in the interests of healing the nation.
And the more the economy falters and prices go up and people lose their jobs, the more people from the North are likely to march around Westminster needing my Pukka pies (£1.49), large cans of Red Bull (£1.99), paper and marker pens (£4) for placards. And, frankly, soap (£1).
Which is all good news for me. You see, the other thing Yolanda taught me about was supply and demand. So expect a bit of upwardly flexible pricing for those most in need. It’s another counter-indicator, like the Brexit Boom.