Google’s getting cleverer. When you search for a restaurant, for example, you now get a phone number, directions and reviews in a handy box.

But type ‘Tesco Park Way Express’ into the search engine, and you’ll see the Ruislip store has just one star. Worse, the ‘review’ - which may or may not be true - reads: “Attacked by a swan in the shop and the staff just stood laughing at me!”

Another comment simply states “DISGUSTING SERVICE”. Though there’s no way of telling whether or not it was posted by an irate swan.