OMG! Must Titania do everything?
Juggling more accounts than Bernie Madoff is one thing, but being forced to dip my impossibly dainty toes into the slimy pond of advertising - yuk!
We were up at Smallcox & Snatchi, a "top" agency in deadly dull Hoxton. They were complaining modern shoppers have less brand loyalty than Ronan Keating. And they're scared the FSA is going to make sure claims they make about products are actually, you know, true.
So no more claims that yoghurt is the key to eternal life. The new rules could even have put the kibosh on my triumphant double-bubble in last week's Mail about how whelks both cause and prevent cancer. It's called playing the percentages, babe.
Karoline wants to pitch for the Farrows Marrowfat Peas gig. It was her favourite ad as a child hence her running around squawking, "Sorry mate, you're too late, the best peas went to Farrows". It was on telly in 1958, she said, but I couldn't find it on YouTube. Weird.
Talking of ancient history had a meeting with former celeb Liz Hurley. Her cereal bars are moving up in the world, from Harrods to Holland & Barrett. Lizzy went to school with my big sis Pashmina. Apparently she was known as Curly-Wurly Hurly because she could eat one in a single go - without chewing. No wonder the boys liked her, even if she wasn't officially Head Girl.
Anyway, her bars are called Guilt Free, so we fed one to the intern Anastasia. Anastasia Nervosa we call her, due to her to-die-for size-zero figure. "Even civilians deserve my seedy goodness," Lizzy cooed. "The little people, you know?"
The campaign writes itself. Lizzy's swallowed plenty of wild oats over the years - and guilt's never been an issue.
Only joking sweetie! And Pash says hi.
More from this column
Juggling more accounts than Bernie Madoff is one thing, but being forced to dip my impossibly dainty toes into the slimy pond of advertising - yuk!
We were up at Smallcox & Snatchi, a "top" agency in deadly dull Hoxton. They were complaining modern shoppers have less brand loyalty than Ronan Keating. And they're scared the FSA is going to make sure claims they make about products are actually, you know, true.
So no more claims that yoghurt is the key to eternal life. The new rules could even have put the kibosh on my triumphant double-bubble in last week's Mail about how whelks both cause and prevent cancer. It's called playing the percentages, babe.
Karoline wants to pitch for the Farrows Marrowfat Peas gig. It was her favourite ad as a child hence her running around squawking, "Sorry mate, you're too late, the best peas went to Farrows". It was on telly in 1958, she said, but I couldn't find it on YouTube. Weird.
Talking of ancient history had a meeting with former celeb Liz Hurley. Her cereal bars are moving up in the world, from Harrods to Holland & Barrett. Lizzy went to school with my big sis Pashmina. Apparently she was known as Curly-Wurly Hurly because she could eat one in a single go - without chewing. No wonder the boys liked her, even if she wasn't officially Head Girl.
Anyway, her bars are called Guilt Free, so we fed one to the intern Anastasia. Anastasia Nervosa we call her, due to her to-die-for size-zero figure. "Even civilians deserve my seedy goodness," Lizzy cooed. "The little people, you know?"
The campaign writes itself. Lizzy's swallowed plenty of wild oats over the years - and guilt's never been an issue.
Only joking sweetie! And Pash says hi.
More from this column
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