By rights, I should be a Stella Cidre/Baileys/Whyte & Mackay sort of a girl. At least, that’s what 38-22-36 translates to in The Grocer’s top 100 booze brand list of last week. But if you go by the glass rather than the tape measure, I’m 84-82-145 (Veuve Clicquot/Lanson/Laurent Perrier), which doesn’t sound promising, even in centimetres.

It’s academic at the moment anyway because we’re not celebrating at Puff & Fluff. That’s thanks to The Guardian, which is clearly trying to close down the entire UK food PR industry. Stories claiming “Shoppers could save hundreds of pounds a year by swapping ‘superfoods’ for cheaper alternatives” are bad news for us. Given that, even five years after the superfoods boom limped to an end, we’re still raking in the cash to promote the miraculous health effects of various berries, beans, extracts, juices and potions, the suggestion you can get all their benefits and more from half an orange and a lick of a galvanised bucket (for the zinc) is dangerous talk indeed.

Still, the media has done some of us a favour this week. It is no coincidence that Karoline (with a K) had a tin of sardines on her desk this morning following yesterday’s Telegraph headline suggesting that fish oil “may reduce the risk of dementia for heavy drinkers.” The need for some kind of cure is highlighted by the fact she’d forgotten that we work for the British Fish Oil Council and she had herself invented the story.

No fish among the Walkers ‘Do Us a Flavour’ winners, a promotion following the old PR maxim that if something worked once it’s worth doing again, but not quite as well. I had a fiver on dead horse being this year’s winner. Or was that last year’s flavour?