I hear people talk about comparison being the thief of joy. Or they warn that you shouldn’t compare where you are in the book, versus others, as you are reading different books. I’d understood the concept but never really got it completely until today in the swimming pool.
There were four of us doing lane swimming this morning. We all went up and down as usual, and I was thinking about the guy who had just overtaken me. Swimming etiquette is that as you get to the end of your length, if someone is on your tail, you sort of pull over to the side, let them spin and start their next length.
It took me years to figure this is what you are supposed to do. For a time, I found it odd that people kept touching my foot as I swam, which was an indicator to pull over. Who knew? Not me.
Anyway, this guy had overtaken me, and I started to think that maybe I needed to swim as fast as he did. So I sped up, and then I overtook a different guy – and that made me feel better.
Then it dawned on me: the guy who had overtaken me could have been on his third length, while I was on my 20th. And the guy I’d overtaken could have been on his 40th, while I was on my 22nd.
I was making unhelpful comparisons, not knowing at what stage of their journey my fellow swimmers were on.
That was the first dawning moment.
The second was the realisation that it doesn’t matter anyway. Those other swimmers might ultimately ‘be better’. In fact, if I think for a moment that I am the best at something, I have already lost.
I was reminded of a famous coaching video, which I love: former UK Athletics coach Frank Dick describes being asked by a young girl why was it OK to come last. His philosophy was that it was her first race, and that her only challenge was to be better than she was last time.
But I couldn’t have got to the second dawning moment without the first happening.
I’m sure, reading this, you understood the whole comparison thing a long time ago. There I go again. It doesn’t matter. The important part is that you understood it.
Now, how can you put it into practice? Think about how many lengths you and the people on your team have put in recently.
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