Imagine the scene. Singer Joss Stone is sitting alone in her hotel room in Rogers, Arkansas, bored. Her performance at the Wal-Mart shareholders meeting isn't for a couple of days and she's got nothing to do.

She knows the Asda crowd is in town. And, with a name like Bond, she picks up the phone to CEO Andy and aks him him out to dinner. She is rejected.

"I turned her down," said Bond. The bastard. "At 4.30pm yesterday I was supposed to be having a drink with Joss Stone. Instead I was having photos taken with colleagues."

Was Bond worried about what his wife would say? Did he want to avoid an appearance in OK? Not so. "My colleagues come first," said the saintly one. (With a name like Bond, Bogof thought it should be girls that come first, but never mind.)

Luckily for Stone, former Asda COO Dave Cheesegrin took her out. The mind boggles as to what they talked about. Wal-Mart's international development? The cut price of her CDs? Or that Bond, with his heart of, er, stone.